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JetoGrov Ballot for 2023 Preseason

Ballot Type: Human

Submitted: Aug. 15, 2023, 11:48 a.m.

Overall Rationale: As a pollist (poll member? poller?) that prides themselves on having a "resume-based poll...only on-field results should matter!!" I philosophically find the idea of pre-season polls very very stupid. That being said, we're in the throes of August, it's been a turbulent (to put it mildly) offseason, and dammit I need college football back right now! So I'm going to treat this poll as a predictive poll, that's right I'm staking my claims on how I think the season will shake out, #1 is natty champ pick, Top 4 are playoff picks. This poll will be scrapped after Week 1 and have no impact at all on subsequent polls.

Rank Team Reason
1 Clemson Tigers Look, I don't love it. I don't feel good about it, but I can't get over the amount of talent Clemson has and the opportunity they have to run the ACC. The season is basically a one-game showdown with Florida State (who I don't think has quite caught Clemson yet). I'm swinging for upside here and saying that Riley unlocks Cade (who could do what Deshaun and Trevor never did and win a Heisman), the defense is good-great as usual, and the year ends with Dabo back on top.
2 Texas Longhorns As will become very apparent on these rankings: if there is hype, then IM BUYING IT. Has Sark ever done anything as a head coach? Is Texas ever actually back? The talent is there, I think the QB is there, I think the Horns beat Bama...I think the Horns beat UGA in the playoffs (welcome to the SEC), and come up just short in the title game.
3 Georgia Bulldogs If you believe that pre-season rankings should reflect the overall trajectory of a program mixed with results from prior years, then yeah UGA is the obvious number 1 in the country. But in my predictive rankings, I don't think they're able to three-peat. 1) Because doing so is very hard 2) I don't want to pick it....they probably waltz through their joke of a schedule and won't face any real challenges until December though (which may be their undoing).
4 Penn State Nittany Lions FEED ME HYPE!!! This is the year for James Franklin, trust me, I can feel it. Stud running backs, Allar might be that guy, a filthy defense. Everyone wants to talk UM and OSU, but I think Penn State wins the B10 this year...then fizzles out in the playoffs a la Michigan.
5 Michigan Wolverines There are weird vibes now, right? All that returning production, the Harbaugh machine rolling, a QB primed to make the leap, a schedule that makes UGA's look like a gauntlet (seriously, Michigan's schedule is comedy on a level I've never seen before, how do they not go 11-1?)...but, the vibes are weird at the moment. I still think Michigan goes 11-1, with the 1 loss being to Penn St...they barely miss the B10 title game, and no one above them loses to open a spot in the playoffs (plus I really want the poetry of this wack-ass schedule biting Michigan in the ass when it comes down to selection time...AINT PLAYED NOBOBY)
6 USC Trojans Speaking of weird vibes. For most of the summer I was projecting (in my head lol) USC to make the playoffs. But with the destruction of the PAC-12, I just can't get over the Old Gods of Sport being displeased (for the love of money is the root of all evil). They probably still go 10-2 and win the PAC, but the mojo for anything more is way way off.
7 Texas A&M Aggies It was at this point that I realized I may have a hype problem. Am I picking A&M to win the SEC West? Yes. I am. I know. I need help. But but but, what if Petrino cooks? What if him and Jimbo fall madly in love and realize they've needed each other their whole lives??? The Talent!! THE DOG DISGUISED AS A DEITY DISGUISED AS A DOG. It will probably go horribly wrong, but I want to believe.
8 UTSA Roadrunners One of my pillars of poll-building is to give preference to good G5 teams over middling P5 (P4? RIP) teams (GET OLE MISS OUT OF MY FACE). I think UTSA will be the best G5 team this year, look for them to give TN a real scare on Sept 23, and win the newly shaped American.
9 Florida State Seminoles Second best team in what I think is a two team conference. Prolly going 10-2 and playing in the orange bowl, not bad!
10 Oklahoma Sooners I only have 2 Big XII teams ranked, mostly because I feel that this conference is incredible at beating up on each other and by year's end only a few will stick out from the rest, so apologies for Kansas State, TX TECH, and TCU. I'm expecting a bounce-back year from OU...one where they lose to Texas twice...ouch.
11 UCLA Bruins UCLA is one of my favorite dark horses this year; I think they'll end up being on the upper level of the PAC in their final season...that's all I got.
12 Wisconsin Badgers Wisconsin is my pick to win the B10 West, believe in Fick, Dairy Raid is a good name and makes me want a milkshake, and (as my rankings show if you have yet to notice) I think they catch OSU in Madison this year.
13 LSU Tigers I hate Brian Kelly. I love LSU. I hate Brian Kelly. He made LSU un-cool. Which is impossible to do and pisses me off.
14 Alabama Crimson Tide The first of two AP top 5 teams that I am low on. I just don't see it this year, they don't have a QB, the Saban stranglehold feels like it has slipped. I don't know what I'm doing betting against them, but it feels like 9-3.
15 Utah Utes I dunno Utah is Utah...they do this every year, they'll be good, they'll probably win the PAC again.
16 Washington Huskies Good offense, good QB, I think the PAC ends up being 4-5 good teams at the top just duking it out.
17 Notre Dame Fighting Irish 9-3 Notre Dame year, moving on.
18 Tennessee Volunteers Losses to Bama and UGA seem guaranteed. Likely another loss or two hiding in there between UF, UTSA, UK, Mizzou. The irrational TN fans will see this as a disappointment, but Heupel has things moving in the right direction, this program would have killed for an Outback Bowl 4 years ago.
19 Ohio State Buckeyes Yep. I am Buckeye (though I joined the Nut Cult later in life and for life reasons, so I'm not weird/crazy like the other ones) so this may be a reverse jinx but I feel storm clouds in Columbus. I really like Ryan Day, he's made it easier to become a Buckeye fan later in life (looks at Urban), but I can't help but feel he's about to get run out of town (John Cooper scarred these people). I think the defense could be really good-great, the skill positions are incredible, the QB should be adequate...but I'm going darkest timeline here: THE o-line never gels, McCord aint really it and Brown isnt either, Notre Dame catches them early in the year...Wisconsin is able to produce a marquee moment in Fick's first year, Penn St and Michigan both dominate the line of scrimmage. I don't think OSU loses all those games but they could, they'll certainly lose one of them, likely (in my opinion) two-three of them. But we'll see.
20 Oregon Ducks See Washington.
21 Troy Trojans My pick for SBC champs!
22 Iowa Hawkeyes yes they're a meme...but they're also the second best team in the B10 West (maybe the best), and I think the offense improves enough to make this a good year at Iowa.
23 Boise State Broncos MWC Champ Pick
24 Toledo Rockets MAC Champ Pick (will this finally be the year picking Toledo pays off though?)
25 WKU Hilltoppers C-USA.....wait, have y'all seen what C-USA is now??? 9 teams? 2 former FCS teams?...anyway, uh yeah, C-USA Champ Pick

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