Ballot Type: Human
Submitted: Aug. 19, 2023, 2:01 a.m.
Overall Rationale: I somehow am an actual poll voter, so I need to take this somewhat seriously, I guess. Next 5 are Kansas State, UTSA, Kansas, Troy, and Duke
| Rank | Team | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
“I am become Georgia, destroyer of polls.” |
| 2 |
Michigan Wolverines
|
One of the few top tier teams without a QB controversy, even Alabama has one of those. |
| 3 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
Marvin Harrison Jr. go fast. |
| 4 |
USC Trojans
|
A national title contender if they stop blowing 2 score leads, something that’s been said across Lincoln Riley’s entire career . |
| 5 |
LSU Tigers
|
Week 1 decides their fate. |
| 6 |
Alabama Crimson Tide
|
Putting Alabama this low feels wrong, but I can’t put them any higher, so take this as bulletin board material I guess? |
| 7 |
Clemson Tigers
|
Too talented to lose, right? |
| 8 |
Penn State Nittany Lions
|
Either going 12-0 or 6-6, No in between. |
| 9 |
Florida State Seminoles
|
Same as LSU but less cajun. |
| 10 |
Washington Huskies
|
3-9 in 2021 by the way, Penix is that guy. |
| 11 |
North Carolina Tar Heels
|
Am I too high on them? yes. Do I think Drake Maye will be a Heisman finalist? Also yes. |
| 12 |
Texas Longhorns
|
Winning the Big 12 in your final year as a big f you to the rest of the conference would be funny. |
| 13 |
Oregon Ducks
|
Success relies on Bo Nix having fun, and buying more Manhattan billboards. |
| 14 |
Tulane Green Wave
|
Ole Miss vs Tulane may be the most underrated game of the year. |
| 15 |
Oregon State Beavers
|
The positive is you have a quarterback, the negative is it’s DJ Uiagalelei, and there’s a reason he transferred out of Clemson. |
| 16 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
Joe Milton may have the best arm in all of College Football power wise, accuracy wise you pray every time he throws a deep ball. |
| 17 |
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
|
*this space was intentionally left blank* |
| 18 |
Utah Utes
|
Is scared they might lose to Graham Mertz Florida, which might be a cause for concern. |
| 19 |
Wisconsin Badgers
|
Might go 11-1 and play in the B1G title game, could also go 4-8 and end the 20 year long bowling streak, who knows now that the Badgers might pass the ball sometimes, the horror! |
| 20 |
TCU Horned Frogs
|
13 players on last years team are now in the NFL, 13! |
| 21 |
South Carolina Gamecocks
|
Remember when Spencer Rattler was going to be the #1 pick in the 2022 draft? |
| 22 |
Iowa Hawkeyes
|
25 PPG would’ve put Iowa at the 85th most points per game last year, they would’ve gone 11-2 with losses to Michigan and Ohio State. |
| 23 |
Boise State Broncos
|
QUICK! Can you name who Boise State played in their bowl game last year? It was North Texas. |
| 24 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
Honestly don’t think they’ll win the Big 12 but seeing Texas Tech have any form of success would be a joy to watch. |
| 25 |
Ole Miss Rebels
|
Only here because the SEC paid me to place them over Kansas State, not because Quinshon Judkins might be the Doak Walker winner, or anything like that. |
Teams Ranked:
| Rank | Team | Unusualness |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
0.00 |
| 2 |
Michigan Wolverines
|
0.00 |
| 3 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
0.00 |
| 4 |
USC Trojans
|
0.34 |
| 5 |
LSU Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 6 |
Alabama Crimson Tide
|
0.00 |
| 7 |
Clemson Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 8 |
Penn State Nittany Lions
|
0.00 |
| 9 |
Florida State Seminoles
|
0.00 |
| 10 |
Washington Huskies
|
0.00 |
| 11 |
North Carolina Tar Heels
|
2.11 |
| 12 |
Texas Longhorns
|
0.00 |
| 13 |
Oregon Ducks
|
0.00 |
| 14 |
Tulane Green Wave
|
0.95 |
| 15 |
Oregon State Beavers
|
0.23 |
| 16 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
-0.37 |
| 17 |
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
|
0.00 |
| 18 |
Utah Utes
|
-0.66 |
| 19 |
Wisconsin Badgers
|
0.03 |
| 20 |
TCU Horned Frogs
|
0.00 |
| 21 |
South Carolina Gamecocks
|
0.47 |
| 22 |
Iowa Hawkeyes
|
0.15 |
| 23 |
Boise State Broncos
|
1.90 |
| 24 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
0.00 |
| 25 |
Ole Miss Rebels
|
-0.07 |