MemeLovingLoser Ballot for 2026 Week 5
Ballot Type: Computer
Submitted: Sept. 27, 2026, 2:25 p.m.
Overall Rationale: This model was not designed to be taken seriously until week 7 or 8. Consume this ballot with caution.
Poll uses stats earned on the field, not pageantry, not the "eye-test".
Based on team statistics with each statistic being weighted differently. Teams must have played 3 games as an FBS school to qualify for a ranking (prior year games against an FBS while still in FCS count). Stats earned against FCS teams are weighted less. Overtime losses count as a "partial win" with the value being n/(n+1) where "n" is the number of OTs (whereas wins are worth 1).
| Rank | Team | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
|
Score 93.17 (▼ 3.85) | Place Change: None | Previous Rank: 1st | Wins Composite Rank: 1st | SoS Composite Rank: 7th | Margin of Victory Rank: 3rd | Penalties Composite Rank: 1st | Yardage Composite Rank: 5th | Turnover Composite Rank: 3rd | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 43rd | Other Stats Rank: 1st |
| 2 |
Alabama Crimson Tide
|
Score 91.41 (▲ 0.58) | Place Change: ▲ 1 | Previous Rank: 3rd | Wins Composite Rank: 1st | SoS Composite Rank: 3rd | Margin of Victory Rank: 8th | Penalties Composite Rank: 35th | Yardage Composite Rank: 21st | Turnover Composite Rank: 15th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 6th | Other Stats Rank: 23rd |
| 3 |
Texas Longhorns
|
Score 90.91 (▼ 0.23) | Place Change: ▼ 1 | Previous Rank: 2nd | Wins Composite Rank: 1st | SoS Composite Rank: 1st | Margin of Victory Rank: 26th | Penalties Composite Rank: 76th | Yardage Composite Rank: 32nd | Turnover Composite Rank: 70th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 27th | Other Stats Rank: 73rd |
| 4 |
Mississippi State Bulldogs
|
Score 87.59 (▼ 2.20) | Place Change: None | Previous Rank: 4th | Wins Composite Rank: 1st | SoS Composite Rank: 5th | Margin of Victory Rank: 19th | Penalties Composite Rank: 129th | Yardage Composite Rank: 15th | Turnover Composite Rank: 80th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 14th | Other Stats Rank: 100th |
| 5 |
UCLA Bruins
|
Score 85.15 (▼ 1.32) | Place Change: ▲ 6 | Previous Rank: 11th | Wins Composite Rank: 1st | SoS Composite Rank: 15th | Margin of Victory Rank: 12th | Penalties Composite Rank: 135th | Yardage Composite Rank: 18th | Turnover Composite Rank: 4th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 58th | Other Stats Rank: 7th |
| 6 |
Florida Gators
|
Score 82.58 (▲ 2.64) | Place Change: ▲ 6 | Previous Rank: 12th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 12th | Margin of Victory Rank: 9th | Penalties Composite Rank: 132nd | Yardage Composite Rank: 24th | Turnover Composite Rank: 28th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 11th | Other Stats Rank: 8th |
| 7 |
Miami Hurricanes
|
Score 79.06 (▲ 2.03) | Place Change: ▲ 8 | Previous Rank: 15th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 39th | Margin of Victory Rank: 1st | Penalties Composite Rank: 72nd | Yardage Composite Rank: 1st | Turnover Composite Rank: 49th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 10th | Other Stats Rank: 88th |
| 8 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
Score 78.72 (▲ 4.93) | Place Change: ▲ 16 | Previous Rank: 24th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 56th | Margin of Victory Rank: 2nd | Penalties Composite Rank: 44th | Yardage Composite Rank: 7th | Turnover Composite Rank: 15th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 12th | Other Stats Rank: 6th |
| 9 |
LSU Tigers
|
Score 78.06 (▲ 2.60) | Place Change: ▲ 9 | Previous Rank: 18th | Wins Composite Rank: 24th | SoS Composite Rank: 4th | Margin of Victory Rank: 17th | Penalties Composite Rank: 88th | Yardage Composite Rank: 2nd | Turnover Composite Rank: 79th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 9th | Other Stats Rank: 46th |
| 10 |
Utah Utes
|
Score 77.59 (▲ 4.19) | Place Change: ▲ 16 | Previous Rank: 26th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 55th | Margin of Victory Rank: 6th | Penalties Composite Rank: 24th | Yardage Composite Rank: 11th | Turnover Composite Rank: 25th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 31st | Other Stats Rank: 77th |
| 11 |
Indiana Hoosiers
|
Score 77.25 (▲ 4.62) | Place Change: ▲ 20 | Previous Rank: 31st | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 71st | Margin of Victory Rank: 5th | Penalties Composite Rank: 8th | Yardage Composite Rank: 9th | Turnover Composite Rank: 35th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 20th | Other Stats Rank: 15th |
| 12 |
Auburn Tigers
|
Score 76.95 (▲ 3.58) | Place Change: ▲ 15 | Previous Rank: 27th | Wins Composite Rank: 24th | SoS Composite Rank: 2nd | Margin of Victory Rank: 56th | Penalties Composite Rank: 73rd | Yardage Composite Rank: 62nd | Turnover Composite Rank: 75th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 22nd | Other Stats Rank: 11th |
| 13 |
USC Trojans
|
Score 76.63 (▼ 10.44) | Place Change: ▼ 5 | Previous Rank: 8th | Wins Composite Rank: 23rd | SoS Composite Rank: 9th | Margin of Victory Rank: 37th | Penalties Composite Rank: 59th | Yardage Composite Rank: 28th | Turnover Composite Rank: 81st | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 7th | Other Stats Rank: 19th |
| 14 |
Iowa Hawkeyes
|
Score 76.42 (▲ 1.94) | Place Change: ▲ 9 | Previous Rank: 23rd | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 49th | Margin of Victory Rank: 22nd | Penalties Composite Rank: 42nd | Yardage Composite Rank: 20th | Turnover Composite Rank: 23rd | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 122nd | Other Stats Rank: 12th |
| 15 |
Duke Blue Devils
|
Score 76.37 (▼ 10.54) | Place Change: ▼ 6 | Previous Rank: 9th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 36th | Margin of Victory Rank: 20th | Penalties Composite Rank: 123rd | Yardage Composite Rank: 17th | Turnover Composite Rank: 46th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 71st | Other Stats Rank: 47th |
| 16 |
Cincinnati Bearcats
|
Score 76.22 (▲ 2.69) | Place Change: ▲ 9 | Previous Rank: 25th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 28th | Margin of Victory Rank: 30th | Penalties Composite Rank: 107th | Yardage Composite Rank: 57th | Turnover Composite Rank: 23rd | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 18th | Other Stats Rank: 116th |
| 17 |
Pittsburgh Panthers
|
Score 75.92 (▼ 10.79) | Place Change: ▼ 7 | Previous Rank: 10th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 48th | Margin of Victory Rank: 11th | Penalties Composite Rank: 133rd | Yardage Composite Rank: 4th | Turnover Composite Rank: 46th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 24th | Other Stats Rank: 45th |
| 18 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
Score 75.60 (▲ 3.34) | Place Change: ▲ 14 | Previous Rank: 32nd | Wins Composite Rank: 24th | SoS Composite Rank: 10th | Margin of Victory Rank: 4th | Penalties Composite Rank: 39th | Yardage Composite Rank: 3rd | Turnover Composite Rank: 42nd | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 35th | Other Stats Rank: 36th |
| 19 |
Nebraska Cornhuskers
|
Score 75.22 (▲ 4.38) | Place Change: ▲ 16 | Previous Rank: 35th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 104th | Margin of Victory Rank: 7th | Penalties Composite Rank: 79th | Yardage Composite Rank: 6th | Turnover Composite Rank: 11th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 13th | Other Stats Rank: 28th |
| 20 |
Virginia Tech Hokies
|
Score 75.10 (▼ 2.22) | Place Change: ▼ 6 | Previous Rank: 14th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 72nd | Margin of Victory Rank: 18th | Penalties Composite Rank: 94th | Yardage Composite Rank: 19th | Turnover Composite Rank: 89th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 32nd | Other Stats Rank: 3rd |
| 21 |
BYU Cougars
|
Score 75.04 (▼ 3.14) | Place Change: ▼ 8 | Previous Rank: 13th | Wins Composite Rank: 21st | SoS Composite Rank: 57th | Margin of Victory Rank: 15th | Penalties Composite Rank: 81st | Yardage Composite Rank: 16th | Turnover Composite Rank: 22nd | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 65th | Other Stats Rank: 10th |
| 22 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
Score 74.21 (▲ 0.87) | Place Change: ▲ 6 | Previous Rank: 28th | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 64th | Margin of Victory Rank: 31st | Penalties Composite Rank: 50th | Yardage Composite Rank: 60th | Turnover Composite Rank: 103rd | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 16th | Other Stats Rank: 37th |
| 23 |
North Dakota State Bison
|
Score 73.97 (▼ 0.79) | Place Change: ▼ 2 | Previous Rank: 21st | Wins Composite Rank: 6th | SoS Composite Rank: 84th | Margin of Victory Rank: 25th | Penalties Composite Rank: 82nd | Yardage Composite Rank: 36th | Turnover Composite Rank: 6th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 38th | Other Stats Rank: 29th |
| 24 |
Penn State Nittany Lions
|
Score 73.94 (▼ 14.09) | Place Change: ▼ 17 | Previous Rank: 7th | Wins Composite Rank: 24th | SoS Composite Rank: 13th | Margin of Victory Rank: 13th | Penalties Composite Rank: 22nd | Yardage Composite Rank: 12th | Turnover Composite Rank: 5th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 88th | Other Stats Rank: 32nd |
| 25 |
Michigan Wolverines
|
Score 73.07 (▼ 15.20) | Place Change: ▼ 19 | Previous Rank: 6th | Wins Composite Rank: 24th | SoS Composite Rank: 8th | Margin of Victory Rank: 48th | Penalties Composite Rank: 112th | Yardage Composite Rank: 29th | Turnover Composite Rank: 107th | 3rd/4th Down Conversion Rank: 25th | Other Stats Rank: 27th |
Teams Ranked:
| Rank | Team | Unusualness |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
|
0.55 |
| 2 |
Alabama Crimson Tide
|
0.99 |
| 3 |
Texas Longhorns
|
0.00 |
| 4 |
Mississippi State Bulldogs
|
1.32 |
| 5 |
UCLA Bruins
|
1.89 |
| 6 |
Florida Gators
|
0.00 |
| 7 |
Miami Hurricanes
|
-0.13 |
| 8 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
-0.64 |
| 9 |
LSU Tigers
|
0.36 |
| 10 |
Utah Utes
|
0.00 |
| 11 |
Indiana Hoosiers
|
-0.26 |
| 12 |
Auburn Tigers
|
9.03 |
| 13 |
USC Trojans
|
1.89 |
| 14 |
Iowa Hawkeyes
|
0.00 |
| 15 |
Duke Blue Devils
|
0.47 |
| 16 |
Cincinnati Bearcats
|
1.71 |
| 17 |
Pittsburgh Panthers
|
0.52 |
| 18 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
-0.96 |
| 19 |
Nebraska Cornhuskers
|
0.08 |
| 20 |
Virginia Tech Hokies
|
0.13 |
| 21 |
BYU Cougars
|
-1.46 |
| 22 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
-1.97 |
| 23 |
North Dakota State Bison
|
0.21 |
| 24 |
Penn State Nittany Lions
|
0.00 |
| 25 |
Michigan Wolverines
|
0.00 |
Omissions:
| Team | Unusualness |
|---|---|
Ole Miss Rebels
|
1.88 |
Oregon Ducks
|
1.38 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
0.85 |
Oklahoma State Cowboys
|
0.40 |
Houston Cougars
|
0.32 |
Total Score: 29.40