Ballot Type: Human
Submitted: Sept. 11, 2017, 10:24 a.m.
Overall Rationale: With an incredibly small sample size, join me as we jump to conclusions and make fun of random people with no reason.
Rank | Team | Reason |
---|---|---|
1 | Alabama Crimson Tide | Do I really need to say anything? Do you guys even read this? If you do, and I die, it was the mods. |
2 | Clemson Tigers | Convincing win against Auburn. I don't know what it will take for me to bump Clemson to #1 but I'm very unlikely, outside of a loss, to drop them from #2. |
3 | USC Trojans | The Latexes have control of a pretty well rounded PAC 12 right now. Keep your eyes on Washington as well. |
4 | Penn State Nittany Lions | Nice win against Pitt, who is no slouch. That's what you expect to see from a top 10 team and Barkley keeps looking good. |
5 | Oklahoma Sooners | I think people will be very upset that OU isn't in my top 4. I just think Ohio State isn't firing on all cylinders at the moment. I really believe any of the top 6 right now could be playoff teams. |
6 | Washington Huskies | Play someone real for once. Like I can't tell anything if you only play FC....What? They played a Big 10 team?I don't believe you. Oh I guess Rutgers technically counts.Play and FBS team that is decent before I can write anything better. |
7 | Michigan Wolverines | Out of anyone in my top 10, Michigan is my pick to drop out of it. I think for the moment, I'll keep them here, but if a fix isn't found at QB, we can open Harbaugh's World of Slip and Slides down the rankings. |
8 | Wisconsin Badgers | According to livescience, badgers, when attacking larger animals like lions, will go for the scrotum. That terrifies me. |
9 | Florida State Seminoles | We'll know a lot more about FSU if they play Miami this week. If not, it may be the first time a team enters week 4 in the top 10 without a single win. |
10 | Louisville Cardinals | Lamar is going to do it himself if he needs to. Scored in fucking bunches this week and I think they can go toe to toe with most anyone in the country. |
11 | Ohio State Buckeyes | Where the hell was this JT Barrett in 2014? What the hell Buckeyes, we could have used that win in Lane. |
12 | LSU Tigers | I would pay good money to see Coach O say "Chattanooga" three times fast. |
13 | Georgia Bulldogs | Those little hate balls looked alright against Notre Dame. I still don't know if Notre Dame is that good. They look good, but maybe it's all a trap. |
14 | Oklahoma State Cowboys | They beat fake Bama. Good on 'em. |
15 | Virginia Tech Hokies | Looked a little lethargic on offense against Delaware, but I'm not in the habit of moving teams down for winning by 27 points. |
16 | Kansas State Wildcats | Urban dictionary "Purple Wizard" for a good laugh. |
17 | Miami Hurricanes | See FSU's reason. Minus the whole "week 4 one loss thing." |
18 | Washington State Cougars | A win is a win. |
19 | West Virginia Mountaineers | WVU hate fucked ECU. Jesus christ. |
20 | Colorado Buffaloes | Buffalo Buffaloes Buffaloed Texas State. |
21 | TCU Horned Frogs | Looked pretty damn sharp (horn joke) against the Hogs.  |
22 | Tennessee Volunteers | They beat Florida and I will start giving them credit. |
23 | Auburn Tigers | Woof. Auburn's offense just took the damn day off. I'm down if you want to join team chaos however. Give me a call at 1-800-COASTAL-CHAOS-SACRIFICES-YOU. I think that's the right number. |
24 | Utah Utes | You beat BYU, but stop spray painting their statues. That's expensive to clean up. Spray paint their field. That's funny. |
25 | UCLA Bruins | I wanted to give UCLA props, because I don't know if they can withstand the meat grinder that the PAC 12 is shaping up to be this year. |
Teams Ranked:
Rank | Team | Unusualness |
---|---|---|
1 | Alabama Crimson Tide | 0.00 |
2 | Clemson Tigers | 0.03 |
3 | USC Trojans | 0.14 |
4 | Penn State Nittany Lions | 0.00 |
5 | Oklahoma Sooners | -1.91 |
6 | Washington Huskies | 0.00 |
7 | Michigan Wolverines | 0.00 |
8 | Wisconsin Badgers | 0.06 |
9 | Florida State Seminoles | 0.17 |
10 | Louisville Cardinals | 0.45 |
11 | Ohio State Buckeyes | 0.00 |
12 | LSU Tigers | 0.00 |
13 | Georgia Bulldogs | 0.00 |
14 | Oklahoma State Cowboys | -0.55 |
15 | Virginia Tech Hokies | 0.00 |
16 | Kansas State Wildcats | 0.00 |
17 | Miami Hurricanes | 0.00 |
18 | Washington State Cougars | 0.19 |
19 | West Virginia Mountaineers | 2.30 |
20 | Colorado Buffaloes | 0.16 |
21 | TCU Horned Frogs | 0.00 |
22 | Tennessee Volunteers | 0.00 |
23 | Auburn Tigers | -0.27 |
24 | Utah Utes | 0.00 |
25 | UCLA Bruins | 0.00 |