Ballot Type: Human
Submitted: Oct. 8, 2023, 9:08 a.m.
Overall Rationale: I was on a date all day Saturday and saw no football but given the weirdness of results I’m recalibrating purely off record and vibes
Rank | Team | Reason |
---|---|---|
1 | Michigan Wolverines | As far as I can tell they’re the best in the B1G but they also haven’t played anyone good yet |
2 | Florida State Seminoles | I don’t like having you here but here we are. Honestly if y’all have another weak week you’re dropping out of the top 5 |
3 | Georgia Bulldogs | I’ll rank you lower don’t challenge me. Good job beating Kentucky more convincingly than Ohio State did Maryland |
4 | Ohio State Buckeyes | First half is why I am reluctant to say y’all are better than Michigan even with the ND win which in fairness is dropping anyways |
5 | Oklahoma Sooners | HAHAHAHA YES |
6 | Penn State Nittany Lions | Make me put you higher, I like y’all better than the other two teams |
7 | Oregon Ducks | The trio of PAC starts the same |
8 | USC Trojans | USC should be nervous |
9 | Washington Huskies | Washington is coming for that spot |
10 | North Carolina Tar Heels | I don’t think y’all are the tenth best but idk who would be ahead of you |
11 | Alabama Crimson Tide | :( |
12 | Texas Longhorns | Hahahahaha I don’t care that the Aggies lost bc y’all did too |
13 | Duke Blue Devils | Not sure if they should be ahead of Louisville but I like the look of Duke better |
14 | Louisville Cardinals | Hi Louisville play more convincingly consistently. Also if you figure that out could you teach the Aggies and Gators |
15 | Oregon State Beavers | In a weird weekend OR St finds itself atop the second tier of the PAC |
16 | Utah Utes | Utah inherits second |
17 | Washington State Cougars | Wazzu is for some reason below OR St |
18 | UCLA Bruins | And UCLA returns but below Wazzu for some reason (the reason is my brain is smooth) |
19 | Ole Miss Rebels | Some SEC schools that are probably overrated but then again everyone below the top 10 are probably overrated |
20 | Missouri Tigers | Close loss the LSU hurts but also not bad |
21 | Kentucky Wildcats | Too bad, better luck in 42 years or whatever weird ass cycle y’all are on |
22 | Miami Hurricanes | Y’all lost to Georgia Tech? Really? What the actual fuck y’all. I think this is a good team and do not understand how y’all could fumble that but that’s y’all’s problem I suppose |
23 | Maryland Terrapins | First half looked good vs Ohio State, I think of y’all similarly to Mizzou and Kentucky. Which is to say not that good but damn everyone else is too busy shitting themselves |
24 | Air Force Falcons | You’ve taken the spot of my Sweet Prince JMU as the only G5 school ranked. Don’t screw it up chair force |
25 | West Virginia Mountaineers | I want JMU in this spot but WVU needs a SVU for the teams they’re killing. Someone interview Penn State as a witness. I actually have no faith in WVU but this weeks total recalibration of ~vibes~ as the kids say put them here. I think that’s also what the kids call a vibe check. Example use in a sentence: “WVU just vibe checked TCU” |
Teams Ranked:
Rank | Team | Unusualness |
---|---|---|
1 | Michigan Wolverines | 0.07 |
2 | Florida State Seminoles | 0.61 |
3 | Georgia Bulldogs | 0.00 |
4 | Ohio State Buckeyes | 0.00 |
5 | Oklahoma Sooners | 0.00 |
6 | Penn State Nittany Lions | 0.00 |
7 | Oregon Ducks | 0.00 |
8 | USC Trojans | 0.14 |
9 | Washington Huskies | -0.44 |
10 | North Carolina Tar Heels | 0.00 |
11 | Alabama Crimson Tide | 0.00 |
12 | Texas Longhorns | -0.09 |
13 | Duke Blue Devils | 1.09 |
14 | Louisville Cardinals | 0.00 |
15 | Oregon State Beavers | 0.00 |
16 | Utah Utes | 0.00 |
17 | Washington State Cougars | 0.00 |
18 | UCLA Bruins | 0.00 |
19 | Ole Miss Rebels | -0.33 |
20 | Missouri Tigers | 2.00 |
21 | Kentucky Wildcats | 0.44 |
22 | Miami Hurricanes | 0.14 |
23 | Maryland Terrapins | 0.66 |
24 | Air Force Falcons | 0.00 |
25 | West Virginia Mountaineers | 0.00 |
Omissions:
Team | Unusualness |
---|---|
Notre Dame Fighting Irish | 0.47 |
Tennessee Volunteers | 0.53 |
Kansas Jayhawks | 0.45 |
LSU Tigers | 0.19 |
Total Score: 7.63