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Rainbow_Beefcake Ballot for 2017 Preseason

Ballot Type: Human

Submitted: Aug. 18, 2017, 12:34 p.m.

Rank Team Reason
1 Alabama Crimson Tide Al-Uh-Bama
2 USC Trojans I'm really high on Darnold. Like REALLLYYY high. As in Heisman high. Pair that with the fact that SC has a stacked roster yet again and you have all the makings for the perfect season in Hollywood. 
3 Florida State Seminoles Speaking of stacked rosters, the noles return 16 of there 22 starters, and they fill the losses with consistently high recruiting classes. They could have something special with Francois, assuming they can keep him upright for once.  
4 Penn State Nittany Lions Trace McSorely. Notice a trend here. Teams with proven QB's are the haves in a world of have nots. All tolled, 16 starters will return to happy valley. These guys could certainly be playing for a lot come january. 
5 Washington Huskies Jake Browning. Trend continues. 
6 Clemson Tigers I wanted to put clemson at #1. I really did. But I think they lost more than their quarterback when Deshaun Watson declared for the draft. They lost their leader. Sure, most teams can replace a leader, especially teams that recruit as well as clemson, but I think Watson was more than your typical leader. That guy was beyond special. Impossible to replace and hard to make up for.
7 Ohio State Buckeyes I'm pretty d0wn 0n 0hio state after what they did in the cfb play0ff. They sh0wed less than n0 sign 0f life 0n 0ffense t0wards the end 0f last seas0n. I'm certain Urban can turn it ar0und, but I want t0 see it f0r myself bef0re I return them t0 the ranks 0f the th0se I have ahead 0f them.
8 Oklahoma Sooners I think losing stoops will hurt. A lot. But they're still the sooners, and they're still my overwhelming favorite to run through the big 12(10, because there's only 10 teams in it so why in the world is it called the big 12 that makes no sense). Anyhoo, Baker Mayfield is returning for what seems like his 9th season, and that guy can sling it. 
9 Auburn Tigers If they've finally found their fix at quarterback, then watch out. These guys will be scary. 
10 Wisconsin Badgers These guys are the most unimpressively impressive team every single year. I mean, Joel Stave is like 50 yards shy of being their all time leading passer. Joel "I completely forgot about him but wasn't he like, not any good" Stave. Yet they still win, and win consistently. I wouldn't want to schedule Wisconsin if I were another teams AD, and this year is no different. 
11 Florida Gators I wanted to rank the gators lower, I really did. I tried. I didn't want to be a homer. But then I thought, who would win between Louisville and the gators? I said Chomp Chomp. Gators v. Stanford? Guess what? I'm going gators. Bruins? I'm still taking Gators. Michigan? I have us winning that game, I mean, idk, but I have us as slight favorites and so does vegas. LSU? They're scared of us anyway ;). In all seriousness, I think the gators are, as they have been for the last 5 years, a quarterback away. The defense will somehow be amazing again this year. And I will somehow feel as though the defense is underrated, again this year. If Franks or Zaire can prove to be the guy, the Gators can be as good as anybody. Without the guy? Eleventh. 
12 LSU Tigers Di's righ har gon b tough sason don in da bau fo anah tam dat dinks dey can com wan aganst ole Ed O an his bois. D. Eh. FA. Eh. NNNN. C. Eh. Dat righ dar spell defense. LSWOOO gon hav a gud on agan dis yar. Quarar Back is da only quasion. Agan. 
13 Michigan Wolverines Mr. Khaki's returns 5 starters, and only 1 on his vaunted defense. The recruiting has been impressive, but that's a lot for even a team like alabama to replace. Time will tell us everything we need to know about the maize and blue. Unfortunately for them they start right out of the gates with gators. In week 10, I'd give them the edge, but that's not what it is. 
14 UCLA Bruins Josh Rosen.
15 Stanford Cardinal Wisconsin of the west coast. 
16 Louisville Cardinals Lamar Jackson baby. 
17 Georgia Bulldogs They should be pretty good. Then again, we say that every year. 
18 Texas A&M Aggies Well, they'll probably start off really good. 
19 Oklahoma State Cowboys I cannot, for the life of me, understand why everyone is so high on OkState. The defense was certifiably terrible last year, and they only improved it by losing their two top tacklers. Oh and that Taylor guy was pretty good, but he's gone now too! Sure, they'll put up points, but I think they'll have a good season with an even worse defense than last year, and will more than likely get rolled in bedlam.  
20 Utah Utes Not too much to say about these guys other than I think that they'll be better than many and slept on by all. 
21 Miami Hurricanes Mark Richt round 2. The canes just might be on their way to consistent 10 win seasons of disappointment. Certainly not the worst problem to have. 
22 Virginia Tech Hokies Similarly to Miami, I think the hokies will only improve in season 2 of Justin Fuente. 
23 West Virginia Mountaineers Put down your lighters and move your couches back inside, I'VE GOT YOU RANKED BABY!!! The boys in Morgantown should be pretty good this year. Heck, you might go undefeated. I mean, Will Grier hasn't lost yet. Maybe he really does have some Jameis-esque magic. I'll miss you Willie! I ALREADY DO!!!
24 Tennessee Volunteers Number 24 in my poll but number 1 in our hearts! I'm really low on UT. Not because I think they'll be a mobile dumpster fire this year. I mean, I hope they are, but they shouldn't be. I just think that they're schedule is really tough and that butch's seat is too hot for his sit-upon. If they start out 1-2 or even 3-2, then butch might be gone before his annual spanking (Al-Uh-Bama).
25 Iowa Hawkeyes I really want to channel my inner Colin Cowherd here, but instead I'll just say that I think the Hawkeyes will manage their very manageable schedule to a respectable record. 

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