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Ch-i-ef Ballot for 2024 Week 3

Ballot Type: Human

Submitted: Sept. 10, 2024, 1:19 a.m.

Overall Rationale: Lotre Lame

Rank Team Reason
1 Georgia Bulldogs Georgia good. Next
2 Texas Longhorns is BACK. Next
3 Ohio State Buckeyes A breeze of a schedule until...a struggling Oregon in 4 weeks? An unknown strength in Nebraksa the week after? A less than great Penn State the week after that? Then smooth sailing until The Game
4 Miami Hurricanes Heisman hopeful Cam Ward is going to have an EASY time with that schedule outside of a lone ranked Louisville. Don't mess this up and remember to take a knee to run out the clock!
5 Alabama Crimson Tide STOP SCHEDULING SOUTH FLORIDA. AND DON'T MAKE WISONSIN LOOK COMPETENT
6 Missouri Tigers Ranked SEC powerhouse...Missouri taking on ranked ACC powerhouse...Boston College?
7 Ole Miss Rebels Gave up 250 yards passing...and only 3 points???
8 USC Trojans An upcoming ranked matchup that's suddenly less exciting...
9 Tennessee Volunteers Easy week with Oklahoma on the distant horizon
10 Oregon Ducks BUDDY I TOLD YOU TO SHOW SOME URGENCY, NOT HAVE ASHTON JEANTY RUN URGENTLY ALL OVER YOUR DEFENSE
11 Utah Utes Took the gas off the pedal pretty early. Not an easy next 3 weeks; let's see how good the Utes really are
12 Penn State Nittany Lions ...Bowling Green? Is that even a real place?
13 Kansas State Wildcats There's only enough room for 1 ranked Kansas team around these parts
14 Arizona Wildcats Where is the high flying offense? I was promised an elite, high scoring offense!!
15 Oklahoma Sooners ...Houston? Who got wrecked by UNLV?? At home??? My brother in Christ I am prepping the funeral speech I'll be giving you at the end of the season because you aren't even getting bowl eligible playing like that
16 Oklahoma State Cowboys Speaking of mediocre Oklahoma teams, you really did your best to lose, but Arkansas wanted it more. Welp, go play Tulsa and prep for back to back Top-15 matchups afterwards
17 LSU Tigers ...Nicholls State? And dear God those rushing numbers 🤢
18 Louisville Cardinals You know I had your next 2 opponents ranked last week. Ahhh what a sport I get to witness week after week
19 Michigan Wolverines In my last week's reasons write-up, I told you to figure it out after a subpar Week 1 showing and prep for USC. This is obviously because I knew you were going to get blown out by Texas. It WASN'T some egregious oversight and showcase of my lackluster reading capabilities or anything! Where was I? Oh yeah: You're looking at a solid 7-5 with that QB play. Have fun National Champs!
20 Iowa State Cyclones Should I really rank a team for beating an Iowa team that showed its first heartbeat on offense in years?...eh why not
21 Nebraska Cornhuskers Should I really rank a team for beating a completely overhyped Colorado team with an egotistical Head Coach that has absolutely no coaching or leadership skills and will undoubtedly remove himself from the college scene the second his son gets drafted by an NFL team who is overly desperate for a QB, and said son that leaves games early and throws his O-Line under the bus because Daddy promised the world to him?...eh why not
22 Washington Huskies Apple Cup in September? 🤢
23 Boston College Eagles Ehh I might as well add you in here, even if the Florida State win looks less and less impressive. (Not like there's many other teams to throw down here.)
24 Vanderbilt Commodores 24TH RANKED VANDY BEATING A POWER-4 SCHOOL LETS GOO- wait wait I need to be calm and collected. Alright, after this, no more ranking teams based on funny value or because they get a huge upset win over a most likely overrated team and probably fall back down to expectations or slightly above them. Only serious ranking from here on.
25 Northern Illinois Huskies TOP 25 NORTHERN ILLINOIS LETS GOOOO ONLY THE MOST ACCURATE RANKINGS HERE, I'D RUN THROUGH A WALL FOR THAT HEAD COACH.

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