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PrimalCookie Ballot for 2023 Week 5

Ballot Type: Computer

Submitted: Sept. 24, 2023, 1:54 p.m.

Overall Rationale: You know what? I'm just going to roll with the computer rankings. This is Equivalent Wins, one of our resume rankings in r/FakeCollegeFootball. It looks a lot more normal than it did a few weeks ago, but it still has some absolutely insane takes (like FSU being at 24, right behind 23 Marshall - that single ranking almost made me continue submitting a human poll this week). Obviously that's not great, but hey the computer is never wrong... except when it is. It'll sort itself out over time. Note that FCS games do not count - I manually drop those that lose to FCS teams, but you get no reward from winning.

Rank Team Reason
1 Penn State Nittany Lions 2.656
2 Washington State Cougars 2.502
3 Miami Hurricanes 2.430
4 Texas Longhorns 2.351
5 Ohio State Buckeyes 1.949
6 Missouri Tigers 1.745
7 Utah Utes 1.736
8 Oregon Ducks 1.686
9 Michigan Wolverines 1.592
10 Kansas Jayhawks 1.585
11 Colorado Buffaloes 1.440 - lol this is another very bad take the computer has this week, mainly due to schedule strength (opponents are 7-2 vs non-Colorado FBS teams), but at least another loss next week will probably (hopefully) get Colorado out of the top 25 since it hates USC so far (opponents are 1-8 vs non-USC FBS teams, *plus* Nevada and Stanford both have FCS losses)
12 Washington Huskies 1.312 (Tied with UNC) - my #1 if I was doing a human ranking
13 North Carolina Tar Heels 1.312 (Tied with Washington)
14 Oklahoma Sooners 1.292
15 Rutgers Scarlet Knights 1.291
16 Duke Blue Devils 1.249
17 Kansas State Wildcats 1.161
18 Texas A&M Aggies 1.148
19 Alabama Crimson Tide 1.124
20 Louisville Cardinals 1.039
21 Wisconsin Badgers 0.969
22 Notre Dame Fighting Irish 0.940
23 Marshall Thundering Herd 0.923 - I genuinely don't understand why Marshall's so high. Their two FBS opponents so far are East Carolina and Virginia Tech, who are a combined 1-4 vs non-Marshall FBS teams. It could be because they had such an early bye and only having 2 FBS games on record is messing with the system when just about everyone else has 3 or 4? I have no clue. This is another one that should hopefully sort itself out sooner rather than later.
24 Florida State Seminoles 0.908 - This is *by far* the stupidest ranking EQW has to offer this week. So, why is this happening? Mainly because it doesn't respect Clemson at all, having them all the way down at 71 (sure, 2 quality losses, but their only FBS win is 132 FAU). FSU is also dragged down by playing 121 Southern Miss and 111 Boston College. I promise this will correct itself over time, but yeah. This single ranking is why I almost went with another week of a human poll.
25 UCLA Bruins 0.900 // Next 5: Syracuse, Florida, Liberty, Ole Miss, TCU // Teams in the AP or Coaches Poll not listed: LSU (35), Georgia (38), Oregon State (40), Fresno State (42), USC (49), Tennessee (60), Clemson (71)

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