Ballot Type: Human
Submitted: Sept. 7, 2021, 11:45 p.m.
Rank | Team | Reason |
---|---|---|
1 | Alabama Crimson Tide | Ok. Well... college football is currently a broken sport and is heading further a further away from parity. But to say Alabama is anything but great is just stupid.  |
2 | UCF Knights | Let's get stupid. |
3 | Texas A&M Aggies | Maybe Jimbo will be the first assistant to beat Nick. Until he is I don't think the money was worth it. But what he's done for your recruiting and play makes up for my heartbreak over the christmas tree. |
4 | Cincinnati Bearcats | If the AP is going to over-rank you this much based off 1 game against a mediocre opponent I'm prepared to put you in the playoffs right now. The committee will never, but us G5's can dream. Here's hoping for a top 15 matchup with UCF in October. P6 FOR LIFE! (until we get pulled into a failing P5 conference) |
5 | Ohio State Buckeyes | I don't know, you seem to keep staying good but I have no confidence you're going to do anything in the playoffs your destined towards. But until you fuck it up this is the area you live. Also Minnesota is good, a close game with them isn't the insult the national media seems to think it is. |
6 | UCLA Bruins | I'm mostly putting you here to piss off Georgia. But anyone who has a team that can't score an offensive touchdown at #2 is a moron. You handled your business and if you can beat Oregon and Arizona State you're set for the season. |
7 | Georgia Bulldogs | I can't believe I'm ranking you this high with how many times you're going to get pantsed this season by bad teams with fluke TD's. |
8 | UTSA Roadrunners | When did we stop caring about G5 wins over mediocre P5 teams? |
9 | Oklahoma Sooners | This season will not be fun for your fans. |
10 | Penn State Nittany Lions | I don't think you're ever going to be back, but we've only seen 1 game so far.  |
11 | Ole Miss Rebels | I'm putting you here to piss off Florida. |
12 | Florida Gators | Are you going to beat us? Probably. Are you going to the playoffs? Fuck no. |
13 | Virginia Tech Hokies | Congrats VT, you get to be the good ACC team that fucks up a big game down the stretch this year! |
14 | Coastal Carolina Chanticleers | GOOD ON YOU BOYS! Only thing I wish is that you won, your players deserve it.  |
15 | Iowa State Cyclones | I think you've got something cooking. |
16 | Clemson Tigers | If you don't have offense you only have half a team. |
17 | Notre Dame Fighting Irish | I'm not trying to meme, but you almost lost to FSU. |
18 | Florida State Seminoles | I'm not trying to meme, but you almost beat Notre Dame. |
19 | Boise State Broncos | Ok, hear me out. Losing to a good team is only bad in the G5's. But what if it didn't have to be? |
20 | Minnesota Golden Gophers | I hate how the Gophers aren't getting the respect they deserve in the national media. You're a legit team. |
21 | UAB Blazers | I like you more than Oregon. |
22 | Oregon Ducks | I'm still pissed about taggart. And 2014. You'll work your way up as the season goes on, for the moment feel free to mock my low placement of you. |
23 | Utah Utes | Imma keep it real with you, I don't watch Pac12 games till November. You're holding the space of a Cinderella G5 team until you either win out and move up, our Pac12 clusterfuck your way down the rankings. |
24 | Arizona State Sun Devils | Imma keep it real with you, I don't watch Pac12 games till November. You're holding the space of a Cinderella G5 team until you either win out and move up, our Pac12 clusterfuck your way down the rankings. |
25 | Miami Hurricanes | I was rooting for you, but as a rival, can I just say: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha |
Teams Ranked:
Rank | Team | Unusualness |
---|---|---|
1 | Alabama Crimson Tide | 0.00 |
2 | UCF Knights | 5.60 |
3 | Texas A&M Aggies | 0.29 |
4 | Cincinnati Bearcats | 0.24 |
5 | Ohio State Buckeyes | -0.59 |
6 | UCLA Bruins | 0.85 |
7 | Georgia Bulldogs | -2.60 |
8 | UTSA Roadrunners | 16.85 |
9 | Oklahoma Sooners | 0.00 |
10 | Penn State Nittany Lions | 0.00 |
11 | Ole Miss Rebels | 1.03 |
12 | Florida Gators | 0.00 |
13 | Virginia Tech Hokies | 0.44 |
14 | Coastal Carolina Chanticleers | 0.90 |
15 | Iowa State Cyclones | 0.00 |
16 | Clemson Tigers | -0.67 |
17 | Notre Dame Fighting Irish | -0.96 |
18 | Florida State Seminoles | 6.73 |
19 | Boise State Broncos | 6.14 |
20 | Minnesota Golden Gophers | 5.15 |
21 | UAB Blazers | 4.20 |
22 | Oregon Ducks | -0.78 |
23 | Utah Utes | 0.00 |
24 | Arizona State Sun Devils | 0.00 |
25 | Miami Hurricanes | 0.00 |
Omissions:
Team | Unusualness |
---|---|
Iowa Hawkeyes | 3.60 |
Texas Longhorns | 1.96 |
USC Trojans | 2.26 |
Wisconsin Badgers | 0.53 |
Auburn Tigers | 0.03 |
Total Score: 62.41