Ballot Type: Human
Submitted: Jan. 11, 2018, 4:30 p.m.
Overall Rationale: EVERYONE'S GOING TO HATE A&M THIS YEAR ANYWAY SO I'M MAKING THE MOST OF IT
Rank | Team | Reason |
---|---|---|
1 |
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FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH SUMLIN, NOW JIMBO IS MY BEST FRIEND |
2 |
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EVER SINCE UCONN CHANGED TO THEIR STUPID FUCKING NEW MASCOT THESE ARE THE ONLY HUSKIES I CARE ABOUT.SERIOUSLY UCONN, MIGHT AS WELL GO BACK TO THE 1959 "SLIGHTLY CONSTIPATED" JONATHAN |
3 |
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SAVANNAH ISN'T EVEN A STATE BUT BY GOD ARE THEY GOING TO BEAT THEM |
4 |
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BECAUSE HARBAUGH IS A GENIUS AND HE WILL BE VINDICATED!OH WAIT, THAT WAS THE OTHER MICHIGAN TEAM? |
5 |
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VOWING TO IMPROVE ON THIS SEASON, AUBURN WILL BEAT THREE NUMBER 1 TEAMS, AND YET WILL FORGET TO SHOW UP FOR LIBERTY AND LOSE BY FORFEIT. |
6 |
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FALLING JUST SHORT OF TWO NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS IN A ROW FOR FROST |
7 |
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LANE KIFFEN IS HERE TO EXPAND THE PLAYOFF BOYS |
8 |
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I WOULD LOOK UP WHETHER THE PENN STATE GAME IS HOME OR AWAY THIS YEAR BUT IT WON'T MATTER BECAUSE VEGAS HAS METEOR -6.5 |
9 |
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SYRACUSE WILL BE A QUALITY WIN IN 2018 |
10 |
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FORMER AGGIE QUARTERBACKS: SO HOT RIGHT NOW |
11 |
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SABAN WAS UNABLE TO BE REACHED FOR COMMENT DUE TO PRESIDING OVER 3 PRESEASON HONOR KILLINGS AND ONE RITUAL SACRIFICE. IT USED TO BE 4 RITUAL SACRIFICES BUT ALABAMA RAN OUT OF VIRGINS. |
12 |
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MORE LIKE YOU-WISH-CONSIN AMIRITE |
13 |
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DID YOU KNOW THAT FLINT, MICHIGAN, WAS ONCE DESTROYED BY A TORNADO THAT KILLED 116 PEOPLE?MAN, EVEN GOD HATES THAT TOWN. |
14 |
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UNRELATED TO ABOVE PICK |
15 |
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I REALLY LIKE YOUR GUYS' LOGO, IT REMINDS ME OF A CARPET I HAD IN THE MID 70S |
16 |
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HEADLINES FROM 2118: DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING MAKING TUSCALOOSA UNINHABITABLE UNTIL WEEK 5, ALABAMA FINALLY AGREES TO A HOME-AND-HOME WITH A BIG 10 TEAM. |
17 |
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I LIKE ENGINEERING AND RUNNING THE FOOTBALL, THIS TEAM WAS MADE FOR ME |
18 |
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I BORROWED THE SAME DARTBOARD THAT THE AP VOTERS USE AND NOTRE DAME'S SECTION IS TOO FUCKING BIG TO MISS. |
19 |
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IN A PRANK FOR THE AGES, BOISE STATE SNEAKS INTO EVERY P5 STADIUM OPENING WEEKEND WITH MILLIONS OF GALLONS OF BOISE BLUE PAINT, ENSURING HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE WILL FOLLOW THEM NO MATTER WHO REFUSES TO SCHEDULE A HOME-AND-HOME WITH THEM. |
20 |
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HERM EDWARDS RENAMES THE TEAM THE SUN ANGELS, THUS REMOVING THE ONLY THING HOLDING THEM BACK FROM GREATNESS. |
21 |
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I HAVEN'T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO HOW MANY TEAMS FROM EACH CONFERENCE ARE ON HERE, HAVE I HIT THE MANDATED 7 SEC PRESEASON SPOTS YET?? |
22 |
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NO ONE'S EVEN READING THIS FAR DOWN SO WHO THE FUCK CARES.TYLER PERRY'S BOO 2: A MADEA HALLOWEEN WAS AN ACTUAL MOVIE THAT WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN AND ACTUALLY RELEASED IN THEATERS AND ACTUALLY MADE MONEY |
23 |
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ESPN 30 FOR 30 PRESENTS: FROM TRAINWRECK TO 23RD |
24 |
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PEOPLE ARE CONSTANTLY STARTING "U-S-A! U-S-A!" CHANTS EVERYWHERE I GO, THEY MUST BE GOOD! |
25 |
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I'M ONLY PUTTING YOU HERE BECAUSE I CAN'T PUT YOU ANY LOWER AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK I'M IGNORING YOU. |
Teams Ranked:
Rank | Team | Unusualness |
---|---|---|
1 |
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6.96 |
2 |
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1.15 |
3 |
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0.78 |
4 |
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0.76 |
5 |
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0.73 |
6 |
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15.92 |
7 |
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4.95 |
8 |
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-0.22 |
9 |
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-1.46 |
10 |
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0.00 |
11 |
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-4.84 |
12 |
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-0.74 |
13 |
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0.00 |
14 |
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3.14 |
15 |
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0.04 |
16 |
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8.84 |
17 |
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8.08 |
18 |
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0.00 |
19 |
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0.00 |
20 |
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5.17 |
21 |
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-4.78 |
22 |
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2.90 |
23 |
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2.18 |
24 |
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1.02 |
25 |
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0.00 |
Omissions:
Team | Unusualness |
---|---|
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2.30 |
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1.73 |
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1.28 |
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0.90 |
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1.10 |
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0.35 |
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0.63 |
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0.37 |
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0.33 |
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0.21 |
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0.09 |
Total Score: 83.94