Ballot Type: Human
Submitted: Oct. 26, 2025, 7:52 a.m.
Overall Rationale: Even here, my subconscious SEC bias is showing through. Why would I have two-loss teams like Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Mizzou ranked ahead of some one-loss teams? In fact, why is Michigan above some one-loss teams? This is why I talk to myself using these text features, and my poll benefits from this. (This was in an earlier version of my poll, as these grievances have been corrected.)
| Rank | Team | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
Stand-in for "was on bye" |
| 2 |
Indiana Hoosiers
|
They might be the most anti-hangover team that has ever existed. I actually pray for the teams that have to play them that aren't ranked. *Looks at who they play in two weeks* ...fuck |
| 3 |
Texas A&M Aggies
|
Might've singlehandedly kicked a top-20 team right out of the poll. |
| 4 |
Alabama Crimson Tide
|
Yes, they barely beat a bad South Carolina team. But have you considered that it was Cocktober? That should count for something. |
| 5 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
See Ohio State |
| 6 |
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
|
They actually handled business surprisingly well. It's only surprising because of their track record, though, not their talent. |
| 7 |
Oregon Ducks
|
They only beat WISCONSIN by two scores. In AUTZEN. That should be punishable. |
| 8 |
BYU Cougars
|
Never understood why Iowa State was favored over an undefeated team. Scratch that, I understood for the first half. |
| 9 |
Vanderbilt Commodores
|
ANCHOR DOWN!!!!!! |
| 10 |
Ole Miss Rebels
|
It kind of pains me to drop Tech and Miami after destroying a team, but Ole Miss might've sent Oklahoma to the shadow realm, where if they get one more loss, they are F-U-C-K-E-D fucked. |
| 11 |
Miami Hurricanes
|
This is how you are supposed to do a get-right game. Granted, they play Stanford, but still, kudos. |
| 12 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
See Miami, replace Stanford with Oklahoma State. |
| 13 |
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
|
How are they back here? Oh, they've gone undefeated since their two losses, which were to two almost top-10 teams? Fair. |
| 14 |
Cincinnati Bearcats
|
I bought a ticket to watch Utah play Cincy a couple of weeks ago, because I thought it would be a cheap game since Utah seemed much better. Since that game, Cincy has absolutely skyrocketed. No need to thank me, Bearcats. |
| 15 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
See Miami, replace Stanford with Kentucky |
| 16 |
Virginia Cavaliers
|
If they lost, I would've immediately put The South's Oldest Rivalry as the greatest, most competitive rivalry in all of sports. |
| 17 |
Louisville Cardinals
|
Not a lot to say for them, honestly. |
| 18 |
Memphis Tigers
|
I really, really hope the American doesn't cannibalize itself. They have four teams who could make the CFP, they just can't fuck it up. |
| 19 |
Navy Midshipmen
|
See Memphis |
| 20 |
Houston Cougars
|
I kind of predicted this back in September, but it is shocking to see Houston being one of the best teams in the B12. |
| 21 |
Missouri Tigers
|
They're gonna need to bring back that Tiger-Sooner Peace Pipe and win it. |
| 22 |
Oklahoma Sooners
|
See Missouri. |
| 23 |
Iowa Hawkeyes
|
I was originally gonna put Michigan here, but looking at Iowa's resume, they deserve it far more than any other B1G team. |
| 24 |
USF Bulls
|
See Memphis, but with a choking hazard |
| 25 |
Utah Utes
|
I just wanted Utah to be ranked so Utah and Cincy have a ranked matchup. Also, they probably gave Reddit users a crazy hard-on by absolutely cracking Colorado. |
Teams Ranked:
| Rank | Team | Unusualness |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
0.00 |
| 2 |
Indiana Hoosiers
|
0.00 |
| 3 |
Texas A&M Aggies
|
0.00 |
| 4 |
Alabama Crimson Tide
|
0.00 |
| 5 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
0.00 |
| 6 |
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
|
0.00 |
| 7 |
Oregon Ducks
|
0.00 |
| 8 |
BYU Cougars
|
0.00 |
| 9 |
Vanderbilt Commodores
|
0.00 |
| 10 |
Ole Miss Rebels
|
0.00 |
| 11 |
Miami Hurricanes
|
0.00 |
| 12 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
0.00 |
| 13 |
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
|
0.00 |
| 14 |
Cincinnati Bearcats
|
0.16 |
| 15 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
0.03 |
| 16 |
Virginia Cavaliers
|
0.00 |
| 17 |
Louisville Cardinals
|
0.00 |
| 18 |
Memphis Tigers
|
1.21 |
| 19 |
Navy Midshipmen
|
0.00 |
| 20 |
Houston Cougars
|
0.00 |
| 21 |
Missouri Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 22 |
Oklahoma Sooners
|
0.00 |
| 23 |
Iowa Hawkeyes
|
0.00 |
| 24 |
USF Bulls
|
0.09 |
| 25 |
Utah Utes
|
0.00 |
Omissions:
| Team | Unusualness |
|---|---|
Michigan Wolverines
|
0.53 |
Texas Longhorns
|
0.29 |
USC Trojans
|
0.22 |
Total Score: 2.52