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Doogitywoogity Ballot for 2025 Week 9

Ballot Type: Human

Submitted: Oct. 19, 2025, 12:40 p.m.

Overall Rationale: Imagine: all the Sahara lush and green, teaming with life. The world our ancestors inhabited was so different from the one we occupy today. And year after year, the savannah retreats with an ever increasing sea of sand taking its place. You know of a land to the far east, with a river flowing through it that never ceases to provide safety. So you and your clan head east to that safe land. The land is Egypt. Imagine your shock, when you get there to find me, the first pharaoh of Egypt. The priests look to me for guidance, and I say unto them, “did y’all see the game this weekend?”

Rank Team Reason
1 Indiana Hoosiers I still find the Indiana resume far more impressive than Ohio State’s. A resurgent UCLA next week may actually be a challenge? That’d be hilarious, but I’m betting the Hoosiers dominate and roll into the B1G championship undefeated.
2 Ohio State Buckeyes I’d be more impressed had Iowa not done the same last week with a slightly larger margin. In fairness I didn’t watch this game because it sounded like (and now looks like) a crime against football by Wisconsin and Fickell. If I wanted to watch that I’d watch the UF game (I did 🤮)
3 Texas A&M Aggies What the fuck was that defensive showing? I’m going to go with the assumption that this was an aberration due to the rivalry, game delay, and embarrassing ref calls, but that secondary looked horrible especially. At LSU and at Missouri the next couple of weeks should be the big test of the season for the Aggies.
4 Oregon Ducks Decent bounce back, but it was just against Rutgers. The move up is more a function of Miami’s loss than anything else. Wisconsin and Iowa coming up should be easy enough.
5 Alabama Crimson Tide I tuned in for one play. End of the first half, broken ass Tennessee offense tries to make a play work, and instead throws a pick 6 for like 70-80 yards. I wasn’t particularly high on Tennessee, but Alabama looked good in that win. Next week they should easily beat the cocks and continue on really throughout the season. They should hold the edge to get into the SECCG.
6 Georgia Bulldogs Tight win over Ole Piss, but showed good gumption coming back and holding on. Now for a bye week before facing off with the Gators, who hopefully have a new interim head coach for the game.
7 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets Good news is they keep winning. Hey they should win until at least Pitt. It’s hard to trust this squad I’m finding, but I can’t really justify anyone above them!
8 Louisville Cardinals Huge win keeps the tooth birds relevant and in the fight. The question becomes, was it the Virginia game or Miami game that’s flukey? Right now I’ve got it pegged as the Virginia game.
9 Miami Hurricanes Carson Beck is not only ugly, but throws more picks than I do in EA’s CFB. That’s bad. It’s certainly not over for Miami (like it is for Beck and that Cavendish twin), but they cannot afford any more Ls if they want to make the playoffs.
10 Missouri Tigers Nice close win over Auburn, who are now 6-1 in the eyes of their boosters. In fairness Auburn is better than their record suggests. Now Mizzou gets another challenge with Vandy and A&M coming up, but at least they get a break in the middle.
11 Vanderbilt Commodores Big prove it win over Loser State University. I have them below Mizzou since they played Alabama much closer than Vandy did. Luckily the two play next week and can settle things on the field! The pimp rides again!
12 Notre Dame Fighting Irish Massive win for the Irish, I would probably have them higher had Miami not just lost and the mid-upper tier SEC and ACC not solidified the way they had. Luckily ND can sit around and wait for them to cannibalize themselves. Navy and Pitt look like the biggest challenges left.
13 Virginia Cavaliers That was a poor showing vs Washington State. I’m inclined to think this was more representative of UVa football this year, but I’ll be happy to move the ACC around if you prove this was the flukey game instead. If you’re able to dominate the floundering UNC that will go a long way in helping that perception.
14 Texas Tech Red Raiders How much should I buy this being a missing your qb issue vs fundamental TTU issue? I don’t know because I didn’t watch the game so I won’t let them drop below any other Big XII teams. Get back, get healthy, focus on the Big XII and win your way into the playoffs. Silence the haters (and Kansas coaching staff) and you’ll be fine.
15 BYU Cougars Big rivalry win over the Utes, forcing me to give BYU some attention. As they continue into the tougher part of their schedule they can actually impress me if they continue to win through Iowa State and TTU.
16 Ole Miss Rebels Lane did too much “hot yoga” is my best guess. They had pretty good control until the fourth quarter, which is around when I checked out of this game for another. Alas, I won’t ever really know what happened but I have to imagine some coeds were blowing up Lane’s phone.
17 Cincinnati Bearcats Cincinnati has been my favorite surprise of the season. That said, this game was far closer than the score suggests, which isn’t great given
18 USF Bulls Big win over a not terrible FAU, refocus on to Memphis even though it’s admittedly deflated a bit by their loss to UAB (?!?!?). Honestly what the fuck Memphis.
19 Illinois Fighting Illini At this point, it’s more a fact of “well someone has to be ranked” and if it’s got to be someone it should probably be UIUC. They’ve had a good year, just lost in the big games, but they can still have a meaningful season and could even get a long shot bid to the playoffs if they handle Washington and win out.
20 Arizona State Sun Devils A very confusing past couple of weeks for ASU, largely revolving around qb injuries and the like. Hard to say quite how good they are or how much that game matters, but a win over TTU is a big deal this year regardless as the Big XII hurtles towards tiebreaker central.
21 Navy Midshipmen Long bye week for the Navy, do not much has changed. Step up vs UNT and don’t look like trash against ND and they’ll be in a great spot.
22 Houston Cougars Big win over Arizona. I don’t know much about the game so I don’t want to over or underweight it, but UH is having a great season by any reasonable metric. ASU & TCU still look large and Baylor & UCF don’t look to be easy outs for the Cougars.
23 James Madison Dukes Big win in the Sun belt over ODU. The same ODU who beat Virginia Tech and held it close to Windiana. JMU is setting themselves up well to be the challenger to whoever comes out on top of the AAC for the G5 guaranteed spot.
24 USC Trojans I struggled with who to rank here, but I think it’s fair to keep USC in but low for how they’ve been. They haven’t been able to pull the big wins, but they’re better than most squads. They’ll get to keep proving that vs Nebraska, NWern and Iowa the next few weeks, before getting a chance at Oregon.
25 Tarleton State Texans I get it, controversial pick to put an FCS team in. Particularly when it’s not post season or anything. And they aren’t even a Dakota school! How could I?! I do not think Tarleton will beat every other team not ranked here, I don’t even fully believe they’ll win the FCS. But, I do think that FBS teams have a less defined top 25 this year, and I was really struggling to justify anyone in this spot. I also think Tarleton deserves some attention for just how much they’ve improved so rapidly from being DII only a few years ago. Is this internally consistent with how I rank other teams? No not really, but I don’t care. Let’s give some FCS love for those that deserve attention when there isn’t a clear top tier at the FBS.

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