Ballot Type: Human
Submitted: Sept. 14, 2025, 1:53 a.m.
Overall Rationale: Fire Chris Ash.
| Rank | Team | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
Smith is still a monster. Looks like Ohio (the other one) might not miss a beat post-Albin though |
| 2 |
Miami Hurricanes
|
Yeah they’re really fucking good. Which means we might actually hear from Miami fans in January! |
| 3 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
Very gritty win. Was always high on Stockton. Nice turnaround following the snoozer against Austin Peay |
| 4 |
Oregon Ducks
|
Had it not been for Kirby’s Dawgs clutching up they’d be top 3 for me right now. Cannot start that slow against PSU coming up, but they get one last tune up in the Civil War |
| 5 |
Penn State Nittany Lions
|
I am simply not moved by this team yet. Allar is still suspect. They can put any doubt of mine to bed against the Ducks at home coming up soon |
| 6 |
Illinois Fighting Illini
|
Highkey ILL-IU should’ve gotten GameDay over Miami-UF. Altmeyer remains the most underrated QB in CFB |
| 7 |
Oklahoma Sooners
|
I am VERY close to calling them my national title favorite. Mateer and that defense is a nasty combo |
| 8 |
LSU Tigers
|
This defense is legit, but I need to see Nuss truly take over a game to rank them any higher |
| 9 |
Texas A&M Aggies
|
FIRE CHRIS ASH |
| 10 |
Florida State Seminoles
|
FSU back in the top 10 already is extremely funny but they’ve earned it so far |
| 11 |
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
|
Haynes King is a fucking DUDE. Any ACC team should be very afraid to face them, and so should UGA |
| 12 |
Iowa State Cyclones
|
Pretty uninspired performance from the ‘Clones against Ark St. but they’re at 4-0, which no one else above them can claim |
| 13 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
I almost put them above ISU, but will refrain from that for the time being at least until BXII play starts |
| 14 |
Texas Longhorns
|
Dude I don’t think these guys are very good… but Ws are Ws I suppose |
| 15 |
Indiana Hoosiers
|
They should be thanking their lucky stars they’re getting Illinois at home |
| 16 |
Vanderbilt Commodores
|
I am very here for playoff contender Vandy. I MISS YOU CLARK LEA PLEASE COME BACK |
| 17 |
USC Trojans
|
For the record I had USC ranked in the preseason and I now expect everyone else to fall in line. Weird game against Purdue, but it was comfortable |
| 18 |
Louisville Cardinals
|
I still think these guys are sneaky good |
| 19 |
Utah Utes
|
Bloody Utes keep on truckin. Would be very funny if they actually win the conference this time only because their fans weren’t hyping them up to be the next coming of Christ |
| 20 |
Auburn Tigers
|
In retrospect I shouldn’t have dropped them last week but here you go! |
| 21 |
Missouri Tigers
|
In retrospect I should’ve ranked these guys after winning the Border War but here you go! |
| 22 |
TCU Horned Frogs
|
Please win the conference I need more Hypnotoad content |
| 23 |
Ole Miss Rebels
|
I still don’t think the Rebs will be a top 25 caliber team when it’s all said and done but they do keep winning |
| 24 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
I’m not going to punish the Vols too hard for losing a very competitive back and forth game. I think they’re better than Ole Miss personally but it doesn’t feel right to rank them ahead considering the records |
| 25 |
Arizona State Sun Devils
|
I still have faith in you Dilly. Stunt on them hoes |
Teams Ranked:
| Rank | Team | Unusualness |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
0.00 |
| 2 |
Miami Hurricanes
|
0.00 |
| 3 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
0.00 |
| 4 |
Oregon Ducks
|
0.00 |
| 5 |
Penn State Nittany Lions
|
0.00 |
| 6 |
Illinois Fighting Illini
|
0.42 |
| 7 |
Oklahoma Sooners
|
0.00 |
| 8 |
LSU Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 9 |
Texas A&M Aggies
|
0.00 |
| 10 |
Florida State Seminoles
|
0.00 |
| 11 |
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
|
0.30 |
| 12 |
Iowa State Cyclones
|
0.00 |
| 13 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
0.45 |
| 14 |
Texas Longhorns
|
0.00 |
| 15 |
Indiana Hoosiers
|
0.00 |
| 16 |
Vanderbilt Commodores
|
0.00 |
| 17 |
USC Trojans
|
0.00 |
| 18 |
Louisville Cardinals
|
3.60 |
| 19 |
Utah Utes
|
0.00 |
| 20 |
Auburn Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 21 |
Missouri Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 22 |
TCU Horned Frogs
|
0.00 |
| 23 |
Ole Miss Rebels
|
-1.11 |
| 24 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
-0.28 |
| 25 |
Arizona State Sun Devils
|
0.07 |