Ballot Type: Human
Submitted: Sept. 1, 2025, 10:04 p.m.
Overall Rationale: sadge.
| Rank | Team | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
They’re the new evil empire aren’t they |
| 2 |
Penn State Nittany Lions
|
Opener didn’t show me much but they’re still loaded |
| 3 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
Opener didn’t show me much but they’re still loaded |
| 4 |
Miami Hurricanes
|
Two looney tunes acme inc ass plays + Rueben Bain and their OL being superhumans and now they’re the ACC frontrunner. Stupid ass sport |
| 5 |
LSU Tigers
|
The Kelly signature collapse is inevitable. But I guess they looked pretty complete on Saturday |
| 6 |
Oregon Ducks
|
Moore looks fantastic, but need to see him in conference play |
| 7 |
South Carolina Gamecocks
|
Sellers is gonna single handedly carry them to 10 wins, minimum |
| 8 |
Arizona State Sun Devils
|
Bit of a wonky start but they look as advertised so far |
| 9 |
Illinois Fighting Illini
|
If this keeps up they’re not staying at 9. |
| 10 |
Iowa State Cyclones
|
1/6th of their season’s complete and they already look like they’re on their way to a BXII title rematch |
| 11 |
Florida Gators
|
Apparently Long Island has more than hot dogs. That is my main takeaway from their game |
| 12 |
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
|
Fuck. If you told me beforehand Carr had the game he had I’d have told you ND blew them out. Questions thought to have been answered are now gaping holes. What’s even going on |
| 13 |
Texas Longhorns
|
Defense, back 7 in particular looks as advertised. Arch and the rest of the offense did not. |
| 14 |
Clemson Tigers
|
Same as Texas but Cade looked a little better than Arch did, however he was much more let down by Riley than than Arch was by Sark |
| 15 |
Florida State Seminoles
|
HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW I’M LAUGHIN TO THE BANK LIKE HAW HAW HAW I’M LAUGHIN AT THESE LAMES LIKE HAW HAW HAW |
| 16 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
Transfers looked pretty good! |
| 17 |
Louisville Cardinals
|
Transfers looked pretty good! |
| 18 |
Oklahoma Sooners
|
Transfers looked pretty good! |
| 19 |
USC Trojans
|
USC was once down 3-0 against Missouri State #FraudWatch |
| 20 |
Texas A&M Aggies
|
Still like Elko and the talent but if they don’t fix the inside run defense (and assuming Mike Denbrock is able to remove his head from his own ass) Love and Price will murder them |
| 21 |
SMU Mustangs
|
Should be perhaps a little scared that the ACC looks way deeper this season but things look alright for them atm |
| 22 |
Indiana Hoosiers
|
Almost wanted to unrank them but Mendoza can still clean this up, plus their non-con schedule is SO cheeks that they can work out kinks for a while before they get to conference play |
| 23 |
Auburn Tigers
|
Turns out the grass is actually greener on the other side! |
| 24 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
Aguilar is actually a perfect fit for the Tennessee meme offense |
| 25 |
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
|
Haynes King got that STING in em |
Teams Ranked:
| Rank | Team | Unusualness |
|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Ohio State Buckeyes
|
0.00 |
| 2 |
Penn State Nittany Lions
|
0.00 |
| 3 |
Georgia Bulldogs
|
0.00 |
| 4 |
Miami Hurricanes
|
0.00 |
| 5 |
LSU Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 6 |
Oregon Ducks
|
0.00 |
| 7 |
South Carolina Gamecocks
|
0.37 |
| 8 |
Arizona State Sun Devils
|
0.43 |
| 9 |
Illinois Fighting Illini
|
0.35 |
| 10 |
Iowa State Cyclones
|
0.05 |
| 11 |
Florida Gators
|
0.48 |
| 12 |
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
|
0.00 |
| 13 |
Texas Longhorns
|
0.00 |
| 14 |
Clemson Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 15 |
Florida State Seminoles
|
0.00 |
| 16 |
Texas Tech Red Raiders
|
0.87 |
| 17 |
Louisville Cardinals
|
1.81 |
| 18 |
Oklahoma Sooners
|
0.15 |
| 19 |
USC Trojans
|
0.57 |
| 20 |
Texas A&M Aggies
|
0.00 |
| 21 |
SMU Mustangs
|
0.00 |
| 22 |
Indiana Hoosiers
|
0.00 |
| 23 |
Auburn Tigers
|
0.00 |
| 24 |
Tennessee Volunteers
|
-0.65 |
| 25 |
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
|
0.00 |
Omissions:
| Team | Unusualness |
|---|---|
Michigan Wolverines
|
1.03 |
Ole Miss Rebels
|
0.81 |
Utah Utes
|
0.31 |
TCU Horned Frogs
|
0.08 |
Total Score: 7.96